Friday, December 7, 2007

Dreams & Happy Birthday!

First off I need to say - HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my husband Troy!!! Another good year!!

As we approach 7 months of waiting I can’t help but feel a little down. I know every day is one day closer to bringing Daniel home, but each day feels like a year has gone by. Also it seems I am slowing moving families from Waiting to Referral or Completed on the sidebar, yet we are going nowhere right now.

I’ve also been having strange dreams lately about the adoption. Just last night I dreamed I was handed a blond headed (full head of hair), green eyed little guy and he immediately arched his back and cried. Of course I just looked over to a lady and she smiled and I set him on the floor and we began playing a game of him looking through his legs on all fours upside down and me with my head on the floor looking back at him smiling and laughing. It was funny because he was young enough to crawl on all fours, but old enough to have this amazingly full head of hair. The other funny thing is that when Troy and I talk about what our son may look like we have never even considered green eyes. We always laugh and say between us, any child would fit in – I have black hair, brown eyes, he has sandy brown hair and blue eyes. How many mixtures can we get with that!!?? Not that we would mind green eyes at all – we just never thought about it!

That is one of the better dreams I’ve had. I know I am probably just facing all my worries in my sleep like with the back arching scene. I need to remember that they are just dreams and I need to worry less!!

My mom said to me a couple of nights ago to just go ahead and throw in the towel. Let myself be free of thoughts of the adoption during the holidays and focus on the last (hopefully!) Christmas, Troy and I will have alone for a long time. She said if I threw in the towel, things would start happening.

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m throwing in the towel and I am not going to expect or think about a referral until after Christmas. We have planned a big Christmas Eve dinner at my house with my family and Troy’s family. (Don’t worry Troy’s cooking – it’ll be okay!) We should have 17 family members eating Christmas Eve dinner at our house. Whew! I think I’ll be concentrating on that for now. Plus we need to get out the decorations and start, well...decorating!!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!!

19 comments:

Chris said...

Hang in there Rachel! We have done the horrendously long waits, and now that we have our little girls, the wait memory is quickly fading. I know it doesn't help much when you are waiting and wondering when it will all be done. But just know that it will finished and you will have a beautiful child.

Enjoy Christmas, cherish it as the last one with two of you, and with dreams of next year.

JennStar said...

Happy Birthday Troy!!!
And I think "throwing in the towel" until the new year is a wonderful idea! You'll be able to enjoy Chrismas a little more, I think. :o)

MandyJo013078 said...

Happy Birthday Troy! I have green eyes and I think they are very beautiful. If your little guy has green eyes that could be cute you know! I hope you have wonderful celebrations at Christmas!

Children's Hope International said...

I'm praying for all of CHI's Russia families every night. Wishing you all the best, particularly through the holidays.

Jennifer N.

Becky and Keith said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TROY!!! :-) I hope he had a great day doing guy stuff! I love your mom's idea of throwing in the towel... tell her she's one smart lady! Hope you have a great weekend!

adoptedthree said...

I love the dreams of our children! It always makes me smile knowing that sometime that dream will come true!!

((Hugs))

Amy said...

HAPPY BIRHTDAY TROY!
Those adoption dreams can really be wonderful and eerie at the same time. We are neck and neck with the 7 month dossier wait (the 20th marks 8 months). My husband and I often wonder what Boo will look like. Right now we have 2 little blondies running around the house (one with blue eyes & the other with the Russian gray eyes). We picture Boo with dark hair and dark eyes, my husband wants one of his kids to look "something" like him.

Throw in the towel! Focus on the holidays and getting ready for that dinner. Before you know it, it'll be 2008...the year of many, many forever families.

Jane and Jim said...

I'm totally with your mom - don't think about it for awhile (it won't help anyway). That's how we're looking at it, just enjoy our last C-Mas together alone and make the most of it.
We're the same way with our coloring- Jim has dark brown hair with big blue/green eyes and I'm blondish with brown eyes... so any kid will match!

ana & russ said...

Hope Troy had a very Happy Birthday! And very hopefully his last one before he becomes a dad! I know the waiting is so hard. Sounds like you have happy plans for Christmas. We just found out that my sister, her husband and their son will be here too, and we're very excited about that, because we didn't think they'd be able to make it.

Susan & Randy said...

Happy Birthday to Troy! I'm sorry your wait is so long. I wish I could wiggle my nose and make a referral happen right now for you. It sounds like you have a lot to keep you busy over the next few weeks.

Dede said...

Happy Birthday Troy! I remember having the dreams too. They were freaky because I didn't think I had any pre-conceived notions of what he/she would look like but then I would see them vividly in the dreams. Enjoy the holidays, your day is coming soon!

Jane said...

I had visions of very blond, blue eyed children and I ended up with kids with dark hair, dark eyes who look nothing like me, go figure! It cracks me up when people tell me how much Caroline looks like me, she has very dark hair, I have "blond", she has dark eyes, I have blue and she has Asian features, I am caucasian!

Immerse yourself in the holidays, throw a party and enjoy your family, it's the best way to keep from going crazy with the wait.

Adrienne and Jim said...

He sounds so much like Owen! Owen arched his back so much our first visit and was so tiny. He could army crawl some but couldn't walk yet and had the beginning of his headful of blonde hair and beautiful greenish gray eyes!! Have you been reading my blog too much?! :)

Hang in there. It will get better. Your precious Daniel will be home at just the perfect time. Enjoy your Christmas with Troy! Happy Birthday to you Troy!

Carey and Norman said...

It is hard to wait knowing you are so close. I agree that it is better to think about the holidays and let the adoption process have a rest for a few weeks. In January, we'll be back to our normal, crazy adopting selves. Right?

It sounds like you will have a fun Christmas dinner with both families.

Happy Birthday Troy!

Christine said...

Happy Birthday Troy!

Rachel, I've already had dreams too. :)

Joy said...

Happy B-Day Troy!
Joy

Mike & Heidi Lee said...

Hey Rachel! We are at the 6 month wait now, and I think I need to take your Mother's advice as well! It's so hard not wonder when we will be next!! So, here's to throwing in the towel...now that that's been said...here is my other thought...January WILL be the month that the 4 of us will be traveling to Vlad and we'll get to meet each other and our new babies!! Sound good?
P.S. Happy Belated Birthday Troy!

Sira said...

I am thinking about you!!! Hang in there. I am praying Daniel is coming soon-

Michael and Carrie said...

Your dream seems so real! I never remember mine that well or that vividly! That's amazing! I hope you all hear something very soon! The past few weeks, I had resolved to just try to enjoy the holidays and quit being frustrated. They say it happens when you least expect it! Hang in there, and happy birthday to your hubby!