Yes Ma'am/Yes Sir

I sit here typing on the couch with my sweet Daniel sleeping next to me, after falling asleep during a pretty funny episode of Wipeout (I know - so educational). My sweet Daniel has a fever tonight and I worry so much that I'd rather have him on the couch next to me than in his room for as long as I am up. So, I'll write awhile and watch over him.

One thing I've been wanting to write about is some advice I received about a month and a half ago that was a HUGE blessing.

Daniel had had a particularly bad week at school. No 4 year old is perfect, but this particular week he was quite the trouble maker. He had talked back to the teacher and laughed at her, among other things. After 3 days of this, I called my Aunt Sarah. Aunt Sarah had been a pre-school director for a long time and she raised a boy (my family is full of girls), so at my mother's suggestion, I called her. Aunt Sarah was WONDERFUL and she gave me the following advice:

Re-learn respect by using "Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir". and praise him by using the words "I like the way you said that" or "I like the way you are playing right now"

We always expected Daniel to say "Yes Ma'am/Yes Sir" when he was being corrected for a behavior, but we weren't sticklers about it in general every day use. We should have been.

I spent the next day, re-explaining to Daniel that we were adults and he was not. More imporatantly that his teacher was an adult and he had to respect her also. So we played a game, a sort of Simon Says game, but where he needed to say "Yes Ma'am" after every command. I would say "Sit Down", he would say "Yes Ma'am" and do it. Then I would say "Stand Up" and he would say "Yes Ma'am" and do it. You can only imagine how funny it got when we started going a mach speed!!

Then purposely for a few days I would ask him to do something simple. "Daniel, Please go potty." or "Daniel, Please pick up your trains." After each direction, I would remind him to say "Yes Ma'am". When he did, I would say, "I like the way you said that." He caught on quick!

Within two days, the teachers were commenting to me about how well Daniel was behaving. He was saying "Yes Ma'am" and doing what he was told. Of course I armed the teacher with a sticker book and ever day Daniel came home wearing a sticker he got a Hershey Kiss before dinner!

Now, Daniel is saying "Yes Ma'am" consistantly and to all adults, not just his teacher. We haven't had a single problem in school (knock on wood) and I love hearing him say "Yes Ma'am, I can!" and behaving so well!!

I wanted to share this because I just can't get over how well such a simple change worked. We could have tried so many things, but just getting back to a basic made a huge difference!! It makes sense though - him saying "Yes Ma'am" made it hard for him to not do what he had just said Yes to! I would have never thought about that! So thank you Aunt Sarah!

And lastly - pictures from our big snow!

New Fears

Daniel has been fearless as long as I can remember, but as of late he seems to be recognizing that he is not indestructible and some new fears have been coming to the surface.

First off, suddenly he is terrified of the bath tub filling up too high. It can be an inch deep now and he suddenly stands up and cries for me to turn the water off. This is the same boy who LOVES to be tossed into a pool at rates of speed and turning radiuses that make my head spin. I've explained that the water can only go so high (if we let it, which we don't) before it would spill out anyway and that he is bigger than the tub, but he's not having any of it. If I distract him enough, and sit right at the edge, he'll let me fill it so there is at least more than an inch of water. However, last night I gave up and re-introduced him to the fun of showering. He seemed much happier…this from a child who HATED a shower just a month ago.

Second, we went to the park this past Monday and I was pushing him on a swing. I gave him the usual treatment, meaning I pushed him higher and higher and all the sudden it was mayhem. "I did not ask you to push me that high." "Stop pushing me Momma." "Too high." Those were some of the high pitched sentences I could understand coming out of his mouth. He did want to stay on the swing, but only be pushed to a moderate-slow level.

Third, I took Daniel to a Karate lesson. It was a private lesson I won through a competition at our local mall. I thought it would be a neat thing to try and since it was a one-on-one lesson, I just knew we couldn't go wrong. We walked in and some black belts were practicing and making all the appropriate karate noises. Daniel was fascinated, but he clung to me like glue and hid behind me while I filled out the paperwork. This from the child who wrestles non-stop with his daddy. We went to a private room with a male instructor who was great. He was loud, authoritative, knew his stuff and he was fun. I liked him right away. Daniel, on the other hand, was shy, kept looking at me, couldn't focus on the instructor long enough because he had to check to make sure I hadn't disappeared on him (as in every 5-10 seconds) and just stood there like we were all crazy. Needless to say, we'll be foregoing karate this year and may try to reintroduce it next year, if he's interested.

It's an interesting mix of new fears and I'm guessing it's just a stage which will pass!

Under the Weather and Bad/Good Behavior

Daniel has been under the weather for the last week. It was the usual runny nose that he has every other week since he started day care. Thursday night however, he coughed himself silly and finally after propping him up and drinking warm drinks etc. he fell asleep. He woke up Friday coughing and with a swollen face. By swollen, I mean stuffy under his eyes and across his nose, but it was obvious. I called the pediatrician and we went in to see her.

Needless to say in the waiting room a lady approached me to say how much Daniel looked like me. I almost laughed, but I don't feel like I need to tell everyone Daniel's back story, so I simply smiled and played along and said, "If you think he looks like me, you should see my husband and him together." I thought that was end of it until she started asking me if he was born with black hair, like mine, and if it was lightening up now or vice versa. Well, hmmm...I wasn't sure quite what to say so I said a vague "umm humm" to which it did not really answer her question. I quickly changed the subject to other topics and that was that.

The pediatrician said Daniel's ears were cloudy, but not infected, thank goodness, but that he had a pretty good respiratory infection so she gave us an antibiotic and sent us on our way.

Well, the day really began when I took Daniel to fill the prescription. We stopped by my favorite store, CVS. If you don't know why I love CVS, check out my other blog. Anyway, I dropped off the prescription and the lady proceeds to say "Your coming back when?" And I think...Ummm, I'm not coming back. My kiddo is sick and I'm waiting on the prescription. What rubbed me the wrong way was that she assumed I would come back. After I tell her I'm waiting she proceeds to tell me in a frazzled vioce it would be twenty minutes so I started wandering the store with Daniel.

Normally Daniel sits in the front of the cart all strapped in, but because he was feeling bad I let him sit in the back part of the cart and I had brought an electronic book knowing we may have to wait. We are going along nicely when all the sudden Daniel flings his toy to the front of the cart and starts kicking it. I calmly tell him no and move closer to the pharmacy desk to see how busy they were. I noticed the lady was on the phone jabbering away about NON pharmacy stuff. So I sit there and Daniel starts kicking again. I tell him if he kicks again in the back of the cart, he's going to put in the front and strapped in. He knows I mean business. One warning and that's it. My son would, thinks he should and probaly could rule the world at the ripe old age of two. He's incredibly intelligent and very stubborn so he fits right in to the family (def. in the stubborn area!). My mom said I have met my match finally. Anyway he kicks, I pick him up and he goes in the front and he starts crying very, very loudly and bucking against the seatbelt.

Needless to say, this doesn't bother me. Should it? I don't know. I am of the opinion if a child is screaming in a store and the parents are obviously in control then no big deal. All kids throw a fit in a store at some point or another. If the parents are out of control, then it's another story. Well, at this point, the lady is still jabbering away and so I nicely took the cart in front of her register and let Daniel scream and cry and kick right in front of her while I feined interest in chapsticks like I've never seen them before. She finally gets off the phone and then the pharmacist comes out from behind the counter and starts jabbering away about NON pharmacy stuff to someone else. So I gently eased my cart in his direction. Needless to say I got a funny look and then "POOF" my prescription was ready a moment later. When I checked out, Daniel was "all done crying" as he likes to say and we had moved on to looking at a doggie calendar so I looked at and told the lady, "It's not so much fun shopping when you have a little one who's sick." She agreed.

For once I actually apreciated Daniel's little fit! I know - I'm shameless.