"Because I Learned it From God"

Whew!! We've had a busy few weeks. I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted on this blog.

I've switched gears at work from real estate law to tax law and I've been working extra days to get as many tax returns out by the deadline as possible. Some returns can take two to three days to complete!! My head is spinning with numbers right now!

On top of that last week was the busiest week of my life! Not only did I work two extra days, but my older sister had her baby, my newest nephew, on my birthday!!! Yesterday we picked up her two year, brought him to our house and had a fun day raking leaves and then re-raking leaves after Daniel and Eli jumped into them repeatedly!! Then last night we headed to her house armed with dinner, and celebrated 5 birthdays!!!!! Those five inlcude mine and Jacob's (new baby), brother in law Brett, sister who gave birth Cathy, and my mom - all five within exactly 7 days of each other! It was crazy, but we had a great time pampering Cathy and holding the baby!!

Today, I am actually thankful it's pouring outside, just so I can take it easy on the couch. Daniel is watching hunting and fishing curled up in Troy's lap.

Now that I've bored you with our busy life, I have some great news to share about Daniel! I know I've posted about potty training several times, and that I think he's trained. Each time I've posted, with a few days, he's gone backwards. I've been at my wits end many, many times. Daniel is 4 and 3/4 and starts kindergarten in the fall. I've spent a lot of time working with him, making the bathroom fun, being discouraged, sad, mad, understanding, proud, disappointed, frustrated, cheering, dancing, crying. We had even put him back in pull-ups for a while. We've been training since right before he turned 3.

If your new to this blog, Daniel has a medical condition, but thankfully we are coming to the end of it we hope. Time will do the rest. His medical condition has made potty training extremely difficult. In fact, I was told more than once he would need a permanent cathedar. I'm glad I was told that because it made me even more determined to potty train him.

I'd been spending a lot of time praying about potty training in particular this past month. Each night before bad, i found myself praying the God would intervene and help my child understand his bladder.

Then I gave up...not praying, but potty training. I just let Daniel know that I would remind him to go potty, but it was his choice to go potty or not. If he chose not to go, that was fine. If he wet, he was responsible for changing himself and he couldn't come out of his room or the bathroom until he had on clean clothes. Everything he needed was at his diposal.

I noticed within a few days he was changing himself without me saying a word. He was still having accidents, but he was noticing and changing himself. Progress. Then he started going everytime I reminded him. Our "Yes Ma'am" strategy helped with this. Then I realized a week had passed and he had not wet at all.

Then two nights ago, I undressed Daniel for his bath and his pants were totally dry yet again! I hugged him, told him how proud I was and said "Where did you learn to keep your pants so dry?"

Daniel looked straight at me and said "Because I learned it from God".

Well, I sure can't argue with that. I've been thanking God ever since. Daniel has been dry for a little more than a week now, including leakage. I expect a few leaks given his medical condition, but I am such a proud mommy. We go back to the urologist in April for a large test, but it's hopefully the last one. I can't wait to tell them they can cross the permanent cathedar right off their charts, because I believe that with God's help, we have kicked this problem right out of the ball park!!

So, now that I've gone on and on...here's some great pictures from our week!!

Met Two Years Ago and ReAdoption Complete!

Wow - I missed some important dates this year. Of course it didn't help that this week both Daniel and I got the stomach flu within about 4 hours of each other. And so ends my debate on whether or not to keep the monitor on in his bedroom. I'm glad I did. Even though the sounds weren't pleasant, I was woken from sleep and managed to lunge into his room and rescue the floor from disaster. Only the bed had to be stripped. Then 4 hours later I was up and sick as a dog. We made it - hopefully safe for a couple of years!!

I digress - On February 22, 2008, we received the call that would change our lives forever for the better. On March 8, 2008, we left, giddy with excitement, on a pretty amazing trip and on March 11, 2008, we met our son!! I can't believe it's been two years since we first laid eyes on him. It's also important to point out that he's been home longer now than anywhere else!! It feels like forever at this point and at times I almost feel like the process never took place.

I been thinking a lot about that.

Of course we'll never forget his roots and certainly he will grow up understanding where he is from and how he came to us - he'll tell you he was born in Russia if you ask him - but we're at the point where it just isn't something we spend a lot of time on now. I don't introduce as being adopted, I don't tell everyone we meet he is adopted and sometimes if someone comments how much he looks like Troy (that we don't know) we just smile and nod and don't bother explaining how impossible that is. It feels good to move beyond all that because for a while I felt a bit stuck, almost like I had to correct everyone. We do have a sweet adoption book that we read occasionally, and we work on Russia words and if we hear the word Russia we cheer, but as a family we're moving beyond and just enjoying life.

And life has been busy! I can't believe it's been a month since I've updated! We're actively invloved in our Playgroup and this month we're supporting Soles 4 Souls. We can specify where we want the shoes we collect to go so the warm weather shoes are heading to Ethiopia where Daniel's friend Mari is from and the winter shoes will be heading to Russia! We've also recently joined a new orphan ministry at a local church and we are excited to see where it leads us!

We did petition the courts last year (as in October, I think) for Daniel's Re-adoption and finally in December after a mild panic when I called to check on the final order and the secretary told me there was an issue with the paperwork - there wasn't - it just wasn't signed yet and instead of telling me that she said there was an issue that she couldn't tell me about and then 5 days later the order was signed, sealed and delivered to our door - the re-adoption was complete - we did it all on our own for less than $75.00! And the best part - we just finally received Daniel's Virginia Certificate of Foreign Birth! YAY!

That being done I filed a form to USCIS for the return of original documents from the embassy packet we handed in to the airport officials, in the hopes of possibly receiving a piece of anything that we didn't already have, but we only received an extra original of the court decree. I was hoping for more information, but I've heard it's spotty what you get back at best, but I figured it was worth a try!

At this point we have our 2 year post placement visit on the 26th of this month and then one more next year and we can finally put the crate of paperwork away. I told Troy we're going to have to rent a small warehouse space for the crate. I'll be glad when the paperwork chase is completely over.

That being said, while we had and still have every intention to adopt again, for now it is on the back burner. We have decided just to sit back and enjoy Daniel for a while. We're clearing his medical slowly (still with follow ups and we still have another large test to do) but the doctor has hopes of releasing him within a year or two to regular checkups. We feel as if we need to fully walk this road before looking toward another especially since we've realized that we may be open to the same type of issue in the future (although we're hazy on the degree at the moment).

The best news - DANIEL IS FINALLY POTTY TRAINED!! We've gone 6 days with no accidents - not even a spot in his underwear. Remember we were initially told he would most likely have to have a permanent catheter so we're just amazed, relieved and so thankful to God for this miracle!! And my washing machine thanks Daniel too!

Daniel's doing great. He changes every day. Each day it's something new. Some new funny phrase, some new word, some new question. He's been questioning me a lot lately about whether or not I have to go to work and if I can take days off (I only work 3!) He also expressed a fear that I may not pick him up one day and I believe this was not related to his past but his age so we quickly squelched that fear.

He's a loving child, a kind child, a sharing child, he's stubborn, hard headed, silly, a little crazy (he gets that from us) and a genuine joy.

We're so thankful for him and we're so happy he's ours forever!!

I think that's where we are right now!

Potty Training Update

It's been a week since our visit with the urologist for Daniel's medical update. I have to say that the suggestions the urologist made were right on the money for Daniel.

Are we trained? Not yet.

Have we seen improvement? YES, YES, YES!!!

We were on a 2 to 2 and half hour potty schedule and on day one we discovered that Daniel needed to be moved to a 1 and a ½ hour to 2 hour schedule – he just can't make it any longer. So we spent until Sunday getting a routine down.

Daniel will go potty unprompted when he wakes up, when he "cleans up" for lunch, after nap, before bath, and anytime he needs to do more than pee. He still will not go unprompted any other the time of the day, so we have to remind him.

Beginning Sunday we had to start keeping a chart showing when he urinated, whether prompted or unprompted, whether or not he was wet, and how much he peed. You read that right – we have had to measure every pee pee for the last 4 days – this is our last day thank goodness! He has to pee into a "hat" that we place in the toilet and then we have to pour it into a cup that measures the cc's. The urologist is trying to get a feel for how much Daniel's bladder can hold now without doing any invasive procedures at this time.

To give you an idea, they like to see a child Daniel's age, empty 90 cc's or 3 ounces. Well, this morning Daniel emptied, 150 cc's or 5 ounces. To say his bladder is enlarged would be right and you can understand why Daniel continues to have small wets in between potty breaks.

Having Daniel pee once and then hang out in the bathroom and play, then go again, as the doctor said, has really been the key. We started out with a pirate punch out book and after he went initially we would sit and play and make scenes with the punch outs, then Daniel would go again. This immediately cut down on the in between wets. And while we still see them a few times a day, they are tiny and not noticeable under regular clothes whereas before they were larger wets that showed through his clothes.

We have graduated from playtime in the bathroom to now just standing in front of the toilet a little longer and singing "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jesus Loves the Little Children". While we are singing Daniel lets it all go and we're done. It's such an improvement!!

Also we discovered the great Privilege (or motivator) the doctor said we needed to discover. Two actually. The first – I'll give you 1 guess....

TV.

Yep – TV time is now limited to after a potty pee and no wet pants. It's working. Daniel will do anything for a Thomas video. We limit it to 15-20 minutes of TV after a dry 2 hour spell. He usually does great in the mornings, but the early evenings he sees little TV as he tends to do his little wetting more then.

The other big Privilege? The Library!! Last winter I used to take Daniel to a Chat 'n Play every other Friday and Mother Goose Time on Mondays. Then summer came and we got busy. Well I promised him Chat 'n Play last Friday, if he kept his pants dry after he woke up and let me tell you – dry as a bone. So off we went.

Then Monday rolled around and I promised him Preschooler's Story hour at the library (he's too old for Mother Goose now – and let me tell you this story hour was fantastic with puppets and a craft). Not only did he keep his pants dry after he woke up, but when I told him if they stayed dry during the drive there and the hour of story time, that we would go into the big part of the Library and look for a Thomas book to check out.

Well, let me tell you – for 3 hours he stayed bone dry!!! I was so proud of him!! And yes! He checked out his first book – Thomas of course!

So that's where we are. We're working really hard and Daniel is beginning to see potty time as being more fun and he is relaxing more, hence peeing more.

Hopefully in a couple of months, this will all be history!


Charts we are filling out.

Daniel enjoying some TV time after staying dry.

And just in case you're wondering how to carry your tools to the next job when you don't have on carpenter pants or a tool belt...you just stuff them down the front of your pants (and ignore the chocolate pudding stains on your shirt)!

I Have a Confession To Make...

Well, actually several confessions to make.

1. I dreaded the day Daniel would no longer take a nap. I loved my two hours each afternoon to sit outside by myself, work on the computer (otherwise known as reading blogs), or take a nap myself. I really thought that when he quit naps, I might go crazy. I was wrong. Daniel has been not been taking a nap lately and I love it!! We noticed about amonth ago that he was not sleeping during nap time anymore so we decided to keep him up. While he is still at that in between time where he doesn't nap and is exhausted at the dinner table, but if he naps he's up until 1o in his crib and then won't wake up for school, he's actually doing well without naps. We simply put him to bed a little earlier and he sleeps a little later - a real plus for mommy and papa if you ask me!! Plus, the best part - he falls asleep on my shoulder again like he used too because he's so tired. I feel a little evil tiring him out so much, but I absolutely love it when he falls asleep in my arms!!

2. I really thought he would never get potty trained, partially due to his age (still not quite 3 but will be in two weeks, and partially due to his medical issues. Yet here we are on night 8 (knock on wood) sleeping in big boy underwear and not an accident yet. I have noticed that he tends to have his accidents in the evenings (when he's tired from not napping) or when he's outside. But we're managing through that and have mostly accident free days now!! I should have believed in him from the beginning!!

3. I wanted my child to be a fish in the swimming pool, because I could live in one, but I was a little afraid of Troy when last year he looked at me with Daniel n his arms and said, "Don't worry it's instinctual - he'll hold his breath." And then I let Troy dunk him under at the ripe old age of barely 2. The result - he came up not sputtering once, and now this child of mine is a fish! He can jump in and go under and come up like nothing happened. He is swimming with his arm bands on to beat the band. I had to catch up to him in the pool this weekend!! (Enjoy the photos below of our pool time)

4. I tend to burst into song alot. Like tonight when Daniel was jumping around his bedroom naked after his bath and I plopped on the floor with his pjs and commenced with "Wild Thing"...insert music sounds here...and Daniel runs over to me grabs both my shoulders, and belts out plain as day "You make my heart sing". I truly thought I was going to fall over (from a sitting position) from laughter. Obviously I sing that ALOT around him!!

Lastly, this isn't a confession, but just an update - we have Daniel's MRI appointment next Tuesday. It's yucky sedation, but I'll be glad to get it over with. Please pray for it to go well.

Lake Day!

Wow - where does the time go?? I can't believe how the weeks are just flying by. Our weekends have been filled up lately and June is already turning out to be no exception. This past Sunday, we met up with Amber, Stephen and Parker. Daniel loves to see his Aunt Amber and Uncle Stephen and play with his cousin Parker. We decided to try out a local lake and letting the adult boys go fishing while the mom's and kiddos went swimming. Well we had a blast and below are the pictures to prove it!!

Check out the last picture, can you tell Granny's been shopping for her two youngest grandchildren!! What's so funny is that this was not planned!!

The only other news I can think of is that Daniel is 90% potty trained!! This means we are going days now without accidents and nights too!! He went the last 5 nights without an accident in his pull up so last night for the first time, he slept in big boy underwear and he made it through the night!!! He still has an occassional accident if he's tired or just too busy. But otherwise we are almost there!!! YAY!!

The Demise of Elmo - A Rookie Potty Trainer Mistake

I hope someone out there finds this as funny as I did (and still do). Troy didn't find it nearly as amusing!

You see, we've been working on potty training and in an effort to promote this, Daniel has seven pairs of Elmo underwear, his favorites.

Tonight Daniel had an accident. Not just any accident, a number 2 accident. I noticed he suddenly got very still from where he was "working" on his "motorcylce", (read riding toy), and I realized what was happening. I ran as fast as I could with him to the bathroom and to give him credit, half went in the toilet, the other half remained in the underwear. I suppose you could say we're halfway there...

Once he finished up on the toilet and I removed his clothing, I helped him into the tub. Yes, I wiped, I'm not that much of a rookie!!

This is where the fun, (read chaos) ensues. I'm going to try to create the scene for you as best as I can and exactly as I remember it happening, keeping in mind this all happened in the span of about 5 seconds.

I flushed the toilet, I grabbed the Elmo underwear and turned them inside out over the ring (Daniel went back to using the ring on the potty) to let the number 2 drop into the toilet. Well, not just the number went, but the underwear themselves.

Stay with me.

I frantically reached through the ring, grabbing for the Elmo underwear crying out "Elmo" and swirling my hand as fast as they were going, or so I thought.

I missed.

They went down.

I swear it was warp speed.

My arm and hand went down as far as they could go before I realized exactly where my hands were. As I realized the futility, I jerked my arm upward and the ring came off with me. I quickly washed my hand and arm after untangling the ring from myself, sat down and...

Laughed hysterically.

Daniel thought I was a little strange.

Troy was horrified when I let him know what happened and made me get up and rush to flush all the toilets to be sure the Elmo's had had a clear passage to the unknown.

So far so good.

Waste Management, if you see a pair of 3T Elmo underwear floating around, you can keep them. Elmo has 6 more lives in our house!

Oh, Troy refuses to do a eulogy and I'm still laughing.

Potty Training, "What's That?"

Daniel is only 33 months, but we went ahead and started Daniel potty training. I've read all about (and heard from many) how boys tend to train later than girls and they are usually at least 3 years old or older before it "clicks". We also have the added concerns/trials with Daniel medical history (urinary reflux, enlarged bladder, etc. which I talked about here).

However, at out last appointment with the urologist, I specifically asked them whether or not we should even bother with potty training or if we should hold off. He told me to go ahead and move forward instead of holding him back and hopefully everything will be fine and we'll be headed in the right direction.

What prompted us to do this was the fact that Daniel's daycare sent a letter home to us a couple of weeks ago stating that Daniel had shown enough interest in the potty, even to the point of ripping off his diaper and running to the potty, that they wanted to take him and 4 or 5 other little boys about the same age and begin potty training them. First of all, Daniel ripping off his diaper and running to the potty made me laugh. At home I have to beg him to go before bath time, depending on his mood, but I assure you he has never, ever just taken off for the potty before! Second of all the twist is that they would jump right from diapers to underwear, no pull-ups in between and we were to also keep it up at home.

After considering this fully, especially given Daniel's medical condition and the fact that he is on a bladder relaxer, and going back and forth in my head and out loud to anyone in the family who would listen, I kept coming back to what the doctor said. Move forward, not backward.

So, we did it. I started Daniel in pull ups while he was home with pneumonia. We weren't under any pressure, we couldn't go anywhere, and I just wanted to introduce it, not force him to go, not be mad if he didn't go, and reward him when he did. We are now completely in underwear, except for long car rides or out shopping, although I keep close tabs on the pull ups and we run to bathrooms constantly. The verdict:

It's sortof working.

What I mean by sortof is this: If I take Daniel to the potty every 30 to 45 minutes, he goes, he stays dry and we're all happy. If I don't and Daniel's busy, he wets his underwear and pants and everything in between and keeps on playing. He could care less about being wet. So even though we've made progress the last week and barely used any diapers or pull ups (YAY!) I'm constantly in the bathroom with him. The other problem is that I don't really think he gets it. He only doesn't wet himself because we go so often. So, I'm going to slowly take the 30 minutes and turn them into 45 minutes and then 1 hour to see if he'll start notifying me when he needs to go potty. I'm beginning to believe he just isn't ready yet, but after all the work we've done, and money saved due to not buying diapers/pull ups, we might as well keep it up. And in case you're wondering we have M&Ms as a reward and stickers with a chart. While he enjoys those, so far it's not enough to warrant him stopping play and announcing the need to go to the bathroom!

Oh and he doesn't want to use his little potty anymore and he doesn't want to use the ring from the little potty seat on the big potty so now we use only the big potty and he sits all the way at the back and goes with his legs straight forward over the front. Too funny!

As for the "What's that?" (I bet you thought it had to do with the potty training, but it doesn't)!! It's just something that Daniel constantly says now. Any sound he hears, he stops, looks at me and says "What's that?" Any thing he isn't familiar with, he stops, looks at me and says "What's that?" It's very amusing and the way he says it is rather cute!

Last night he grabbed the sugar bag on the counter while I was unloading groceries and pulled it to him and hugged it. Then he looked at me and said word for word, "Mommy, I looooooveeee sugar." "I just bet you do," was all I could say while laughing.

Lately I'm also getting a lot of "Mommy, hold you" and he reaches for me. He's been putting his arm around me and kissing the top of my head when we sit together on the couch to read and treating me like I'm his baby now. It's so sweet. He's been having me carry him into day care each morning and last week he cried when I left one day. It's interesting the phases he goes through.

His latest favorite toy is a pillow. He takes pillow cases off all the pillows in the house and then wanders around carrying at least one, if not more, pillows. He then sits on it, lays of it, puts it on top of his riding toys, he even takes it to the potty with him. Just another thing I find amusing!

I'll leave you with my favorite potty training picture of Daniel – you know the one us moms plan to blow up at their wedding – well, here it is, when he used to use the little potty!! He's not really asleep, but it was entertaining while we waited!